How are things with me in Taichung right now? Good question. I have a fine place to live until the end of May - private washroom, quiet, safe and convenient. Oh yes, and cheap. I am gradually improving in mandarin including tones, vocabulary and traditional characters. I have both Taiwanese and foreigner friends around town who are engaged in a wide variety of interesting activities. Taichung's public transportation system is outstanding, particularly the Ubike system. I can travel around so easily. The local food is great and I now know how to order. Weather varies between cool and hot and sunny with very little rain. My living costs are well within my daily budget - meaning they are covered by my pension and don't cut into my travel budget.
Along with this rosy picture come a number of challenges of course. Learning Mandarin is driving me crazy because I'm the worst in the class, even though I work harder than I ever did studying anything else. Today we had a test which demanded a very large amount of vocabulary and word order-type questions. It proved to me that i know a lot, but not nearly enough. Taiwan remains a foreign country where people do not always do what you think they'll do, or what what you want them to do. (Motor scooters are a prime example of this) Some places are a bit dirty, the air can be smoggy and mosquitoes are annoying.
Let's investigate a little deeper. The other day I looked at a picture of myself in my Delta School Board days. Honestly it did look like another person in another lifetime. Since coming to Taiwan I have let go of so much of who I thought I was. Partly this has been uncomfortable, but partly it has given a kind of bright intensity to my day's activities. Everyone I hang out with has known me only in this context. The only limitations on what I can do are those I decide to create for myself in the heat of the moment. I do meditate every day, but it seems that its ALL meditation. Whatever happens I'm absorbed by it. Another way to say it is that things are so strange that I have to pay attention all the time. It becomes a habit. Sitting for meditation I see my mind is wandering all over. I resist this wandering mind. It isn't what I want. So today I found myself writing: "I don't judge anyone. People just do what they do according to who they are." Looking at it this way I see that nothing is personal. We are all churning around in the sea of multiple causality. Even the choices we make are governed by some cross current or other. Yes, we have free will, but who is making the choice? Who is the chooser and what determined the root thought behind the choice? One sees one's self in another oneself. If that doesn't make you laugh, you missed it.
Tomorrow I go to see a friend about a job. What is in my future? Do I really want to know? I find I have no answers, only questions. Just breathe, OK? Nothing is happening.
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