Thursday 16 April 2015

On not losing my phone

Had quite a scare tonight when I thought I'd lost my phone.  Suddenly it wasn't there.  I searched the room.  I narrowed down the possibilities.  To retrace my steps I got on a Ubike.  Losing the phone would mean losing my translator, my direction finder, my ability to take photos, my contact numbers, my instant messaging system and my ability to access the internet when away from my room.  Oh right - no making phone calls.  In short, a disaster.
Just today I was contemplating the serenity that underlies my life.  Its like the video of Calvin on his first birthday living exactly, effortlessly in the moment: radiating joy.  All my daily activities float on the surface like leaves on the river.  They are easy or difficult, enjoyable or agonizing, surprising or mundane. People swirl around me engendering a wide variety of responses.  Cars and motorbikes roar past on the streets, intent on their vital journeys across the broad canvas of my day.  It touches me, yet everything arrives and then passes away.  Everything comes and then it goes.  Afterwards I'm still here as if nothing had happened.  Sometimes I stop and reflect on how absorbed I get in whatever drama holds the stage at the moment.
Chinese class is a good example on which to reflect.  I try to avoid whining, but its really very difficult.  The teacher speaks so fast and she writes characters on the board at the speed of light.  I've learned a lot, but the horizon continues to recede ahead of me.  If I do LOTS of preparation (Measured in hours, not minutes)  Also I can keep up (barely)  if I hang in for the whole 3 hour class and don't get distracted.  Then after class I do something completely different and it all falls away completely.  Believe me when I say Its not hard to find different things to do in Taichung.  Just ordering a drink can be an adventure.  Unfortunately I don't get very much chance to practise in the city, because most people want to try to use their English on me.  This makes it hard to see my progress, but I am learning.
Maybe learning Chinese isn't the main point anyway.  I'm on a spiritual path.  I remain on this earth for a reason.  I'm learning to live in the present moment.  I've arrived at a place where there's so little support from my long-lived ego.  The past isn't just past when I'm here; it has genuinely ceased to exist.  There's just no consensual validation for my past.  I'm back to being a rookie - not just a university student, but a slow one as well.  I don't judge anyone, in fact I mostly just enjoy them.  Beneath it all, around it, above it and inside it there is stillness.
So, back to the cell phone.  Like everything else it had the power to roar across the sky of my mind like a military aircraft breaking the sound barrier, but in the end its only money - a line on a computer printout.  By the way, the phone turned up.  It was on my bedside table.

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