Teaching meditation in the middle kingdom

A warm sun is trying to penetrate the grey haze that wraps the streets of Xi’an this morning. I’m preparing to do a presentation tonight on meditation.  Ironically, the shrill squealing of children and the strident voices of men in the street seem to disturb me today, of all days.

Perhaps its because I have been living in a busy hostel for a month and a half. There are people from everywhere: Germany, Russia, France, Belgium, Sweden, Norway, USA, Canada, Argentina.  Also, every day the place fills up with young local Chinese people who are working on their English. Everyone is very friendly and I like their guiding principle of ‘Play with English’. I’m the resident Grandpa who can supply them with all sorts of information, not only about the English language but also about Xi’an and the geography and history of China.  They wonder how I know so much and I chuckle at that, because they’re so young and none of them have a clear concept of what it means to live through over six decades while reading books every day.

Tonight I need to offer something useful under the heading, “What is meditation?”

What is at the centre of it? I want to give them a technique they can immediately use, even though I know that maybe only one in a hundred will actually use it regularly.

1)      Your mind is not just your brain.  Everything you experience is within your mind.  Your mind creates your world all the time; it’s the most amazing thing. But YOU are not the mind.  This means that you are free….even though you don’t realize it.

2)      We all know exercise is useful and so is brushing your teeth or washing your body every day. What about your mind, what can you do for that?

3)      There are many forms of meditation. (Yoga, Qi Gong, playing a musical instrument….)

Some people use a candle, some sound, a flower, a mantra, soft music in order to calm the mind. This is not necessary, but can make meditation easier.

Daily meditation practice has three levels:

-          You can learn to take a ‘mind break’ and improve your ability to relax.

-          You can improve your ability to concentrate – localize your thoughts like a laser to accomplish any task better. Use the power of your mind more effectively.

-          You can use self-enquiry to develop critical thinking and creativity. Ask the question “Who am I? Who is the one asking the question? Is there a witness to all your thoughts? Who is the knower?

What is the technique?

1.       Find a quiet place where you can sit comfortably and not be disturbed for half an hour.

2.       Sit in a relaxed, unsupported upright posture with a straight spine. Loose belt and clothing.

3.       Become aware of the rising and falling of your breath at the point of your nostrils: in and out.

4.       Be still. Do nothing. No attempt to alter the breath or to judge it.

5.       Accept any sounds or sensations which occur.  Just be aware that they are there. Do not engage.

6.       Be aware that thoughts are there. Accept whatever thoughts may occur without judging them. Let them pass by. Do not engage. WHO is thinking?

7.       Be like the stone that falls in the river f thoughts. The waters push you this way and that. Finally you rest on the bottom and the river flows past you.

8.       Everything is changing. Nothing remains the same. Be aware. Be still.  

I I have no idea who will come or how it will go.  What I do know is this is the best gift I can offer to them.

I

National Day photos

The bride's feet must not touch the ground

Toasting the guests

Misty morning by the lake

We argued about the (unfair) parking ticket to no avail

How to ensure good behaviour of pedestrians on Nanjing Nanlu

Classic Shanghai Pudong

Buddhist temple gardens at Zhouzhuang

Zhouzhuang - Canals and historic bridges

Zhongshan Memorial on national day. 266 steps

National Day

When a friend suggested a trip to Nanjing I said, “Sure, why not?”  If I had thought to inquire further I would have found out: 1) We would go during the National Day holiday when over 500 million people are all traipsing around the country. 2) We would go with his family to attend a large wedding celebration. 3) We would rent a car for five people the size of a sardine can and would visit four cities in five days. A lot happened.

The wedding started for us in company with the handsome young groom. We went along to help collect the bride.  First the door to the apartment building came assault.  Her family held the other side and we had to push our way in with the help of some red envelopes for bribery. The same happened when we got to her door.  Eventually we got into her bedroom where she sat resplendent in red bridal finery. Testing rituals too numerous to comprehend ensued, including the search for her shoes.  There were clues to solve available on mobile phones.  I didn’t know much of what was happening, but took numerous photos anyway.  The bride had to be carried to the pinkly decorated white convertible so her feet didn’t touch the ground, and then off we went in a cloud of smoke from a thousand firecrackers.

There was lots of food and bai jiu, then a rest time followed by the ceremony itself in a spacious, lavishly appointed hall in the evening. After interminable waiting the bride arrived escorted by her brother. Events are customarily orchestrated by an MC in glittery garb who talks like a TV game show host.  The bride and groom are the main actors, but they really don’t get to say much.  There was entertainment, lots more food and loud orations by the MC.  I have little idea about what he found to say at such great length. Like weddings everywhere it was a happy affair.  Even though my Mandarin was not equal to the challenge of understanding what was said, I felt very welcome as one more witness to wish the best of luck towards timeless ritual - the union of two families.

Most Western weddings focus on the uniqueness of the happy couple – it is their day.  In contrast, a traditional Chinese wedding seems to focus on the assigned roles that the couple are expected to play.  There seems to be little room for their personal preferences.  I love the people, and there were beautiful moments, but I feel they would appreciate the opportunity to be themselves instead just having to follow a series of prescribed steps. To some extent the event was a celebration of a display of prosperity and the ego of the MC.  Of course I never understood what he said, but it sounded like a complex version of:  “Hey there! Its all about ME.”

We spent most of the trip crammed into the sardine can looking at congested traffic. Overnights were spent at cheap hotels (Btw, I’m not complaining about the price.)  The ancient water town of ZhouZheng was spectacular, as was the light spectacle of Shanghai across the river.  I’m glad we went to the Zhongshan memorial in Nanjing; although that extraordinary city has many more interesting features.

If I could derive a learning theme from this trip it would be to understand the disadvantages of group travel.  There’s no question that my solo journeys are richer in personal experience.  On the plus side, I got to know some friends much better and I visited Anhui Province for the first time.  This brings my Chinese Province total up to 23 out of 34. Only 11 still to go.

The small wild goose.

Small group English classes

 Arriving back in Xi'an was very familiar, but still a huge change.  I took some time to get over jetlag, hook up to Wifi, get a phone card and re-connect to old friends.  Getting back on my motor-cycle to thread the mazes of Xi'an traffic.  Relaxing with a good book in a comfortable coffee house as all the world flows by on the street. I alternate between two worlds and become a slightly different person whenever I cross the ocean.

Who would expect this?

The hostel is called BC for Bilingual community.  They take in foreign guests, teach English to local people and follow a philosophy of 'Play With English'.  The location is right off the busiest main street of the city, but it doesn't look like China at all. There are European style buildings with Grecian columns and spacious balconies. One building is painted pink and houses a classy beauty parlour; another has a swimming pool (not functional unfortunately).  The place looks to have seen better days, but the location is 50 metres  from a subway station.  BC has a huge fan base on the social network. There's an activity on most evening: games, discussion groups, cooking classes, movies and anything that people find interesting.

Graceful living in an urban setting.

It's a very friendly place.  Most of those attending are between the ages of 18 - 25. Usually they have some purpose for learning English, such as admission to a foreign university, or improving the appeal of their curriculum vitae.
This afternoon I walked around the corner to the Small Wild Goose Pagoda.
As you enter this ancient compound the outside city seems to fade away.  The 7 story pagoda dates from the 8th century when the temple was dedicated to the translation of buddhist scriptures into Chinese. You walk along leafy pathways between trees as old as the buildings they surround.  I examined a tall stone perched on the back of a giant turtle. It had a map of the entire compound which, although etched into the stone over 500 years ago, gave a passable description of the complex as it stands today.  For about a dollar you can strike this immense bronze bell three times and disperse any troublesome demons by swinging the log against its side.

Even though the reasons for naming the complex after a wild goose seemed a little shaky I did actually come across a couple of rather sad looking white geese.
More interesting were the stone sculptures that capture an echo of the spirit of the great Tang dynasty and the glory days of the silk road to the West. Fleshy musicians cavorting in their flowing garments, playing stringed instruments behind their heads.

Tang Emperors valued the arts

The question of 'What am I doing in China?' arises quite often.  Its as if when separated from my traditional Western routines I am brought to confront the search for meaning on a daily basis.  What are any of us doing here?  It's better to ask this question without expecting an answer.  Daily life is itself the answer. From time to time I have the opportunity to help someone improve their English.  I don't ask for money - helping a fellow searcher is its own reward.

Lessons of the heart

They all came out to say goodbye

Felt like a birthday party

 One morning you wake up and you can't walk. Your life turns a corner.

It was so moving when friends came out in the morning of my departure to bring gifts, to help me on my way and to ask hopefully when I plan to return.  In some way my life has become larger than myself and there is a sense of responsibility. I care about these people, and they don't want anything from me except what I am quite willing to give - encouragement, language support, glimpses of the wide world beyond the borders of China.
So in a few short hours I moved between two worlds. I soared to 40,000 feet and then struggled in Korea just to move my bags from one plane to another.
My arrival in Canada, crutches and all, was not impressive. We drove five hours up to Bill's cabin in the mountains. It was like walking out of one emotional movie into another, equally intense, with a completely different cast of characters. With its clear streams, green trees and gentle breezes, the Joe rich Valley is a healing place. It seemed that my physical problems began to improve rapidly.  One crutch fell away, then the other, then I started to forget where I had left them. The weather was perfect, I was with family and friends and I had nothing to do except to get my battered body working again.

echoes of bygone years

Best of all was Calvin. If you ever wish to learn how to exist completely awake and 'in the moment' just watch a two year old.
A walk of two metres represented an adventure for Calvin. He would test each root, bounce on it experimentally, take a step forward, then maybe a step back to try it again. Occasionally he would look up at the treetops, raise his arms and twirl around.  Why do the rest of us not do this, are we too inhibited?

"This MY car"

I'm so lucky to have friends from my university days.  We have been coming to this place since 1971, so that's 45 years we've been friends.

The old homestead

This time there were lots of the next generation present. We call them the kids, but really they're in their 30s and have kids themselves. Calvin was one of the four grandchildren running around.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Chinese people have usually heard of Vancouver even though they pronounce it differently.  They always say "Vancouver is beautiful"

Vancouver is beautiful

although they may not know anything else about it.  I certainly enjoy the clean air, the sea and the luscious green parks.  After appreciating the beauty there's really not a lot for me to do here.  After 11 months in Xi'an I find the lower mainland region just a little bit boring.  Of course, I could get busy here and it's great to hang out with the Grandkids, but.....

Can it be that I'm missing something?  It's about people, but more importantly it's about RELATIONSHIPS with people. In Vancouver my relationships require nothing of me. What is it that calls me so loudly back to China?  Maybe, even though I don't have the strength I used to have, some work of significance can still be accomplished.  Maybe, if I care about other people, it's incumbent on me to actually DO something that meets their needs.

Who needs crutches?

Crutches. The very word elicits images of dependence, of infirmity, of weakness. To use a crutch suggests that something may be unpleasantly lacking or structurally unsound. Correct.  My back is not right and it isn’t pleasant at all.  Reminds me of the song ‘That’s life; you’re riding high in April, shot down in May.”  After I learned to adapt to the pain; after I came to accept that there are many things I can’t do; after my bubble popped like a big, fat, yellow balloon – I found myself in a new reality.  Being a respected teacher of English, exploring China’s exotic hinterlands, traveling the backroads of South-East Asia, all those dreams were gone like the balloon. 

Initially, my aspirations towards leading a spiritual life disappeared as well.  I cannot meditate formally because there is pain in sitting, or my mind is fogged by medication.  I see my reflection in the eyes of strangers as a pathetic figure, struggling along with my crutch, eyes glued to the ground. So many friends have been very kind, offering assistance.  Medical people shake their heads and talk about operations.  My fine yellow balloon was long gone. This went on for ten days.

After the period of feeling sorry for myself it dawned upon me that the universe might be trying to teach me something.  There’s a strange symmetry in that two previous visits to Asia in my life have resulted in similar adverse circumstances. First, in India in 1976 I got so sick I thought I was going to die.  The image was of a snake casting off its worn out skin - not yet comfortable with the new, tender, shiny skin and still painfully attached to the old skin. It took some time to adapt, but my life took a whole new turn; the transformation was dramatic. Second, in Thailand in 2012 I lost my beautiful Yoyo, my lover, in a shocking and sudden accident. I found myself emotionally devastated and all alone in a far-off country.  I am no stranger to disaster.  So what to make of the third and current scenario – crippled in a foreign land, but destined to struggle on regardless? 

What can I learn from it all?  The small self has taken a beating once more. Each of the other stories eventually made sense in the light of the great teachings, the universal truths that I have been pursuing for most of my life.  There is a purpose to life and it’s not just about collecting coloured stones, crossing mighty rivers and climbing the rugged mountains.  The ego cannot awaken from the dream.  I know this.  For me the world has stopped.  For what reason?  Why am I here now, in China, on crutches? Perhaps, is it because there is indeed a treasure to be sought, a truth to be realized, but it's one we we must seek without seeking? Who is the seeker? Who is the one who even poses the question?  Meditation is vital, but what is meditation for one who cannot sit in the lotus posture? What is it for one who cannot sit still for 5 minutes?  Now with no balloon I am cast into the sea. Who I thought I was before this seems illusory. My experience of life rises and falls daily like waves on the sea, like the movements of the tides, like my breath coming in… and going out. Just observe….be aware…remain equanimous…what is high will fall…what is low will rise… it is constantly changing.  Here, now, here is peace. Peace.

Standstill

“Standstill…Stagnation” That was the hexagram (#12 out of 64 possible answers) given to me by the Yi Jing in answer to the question I asked about why I have pain in my leg that stops me from walking.  The Yi Jing is said to be the oldest book on Earth; composed maybe 3,000 years ago and used as a guide by Confucius. I don’t know anything about the validity of this form of divination, but the answer was startlingly appropriate to my situation.  I can’t walk. Even a few steps leaning heavily on a stick can cause terrible pain in my leg.

For a time I felt quite depressed because the condition did not seem to improve. I couldn’t go out; I couldn’t sit for long periods and I couldn’t find a comfortable posture to lie down. So what happened?  I don’t really know.  My best guess is that my rather unbalanced posture caused the build-up of scar tissue and eventually gave rise to micro-tearing in at least one muscle fibre. In turn, this resulted in significant inflammation with loss of range of movement and pain. So I’m at a total standstill.  I can’t do anything for days, I see no signs of improvement and I start to think of going home. Even going home would cure nothing. And how can I get to the airport and get on a plane if I can’t walk?

As I’ve seen before, the dark times are laced with veins of gold – the extraordinary kindness of so many people. My adult students took me for an X-ray and bought some medicine for pain relief. My friend at the hostel went a step further and arranged for me to see the best Doctor for this kind of problem. His friend drove me across the city to a specialist. The specialist looked at the X-ray, looked at me stumbling around on my stick and asked a few questions. Then I was lying on his table. It was very painful. At first I thought he was doing diagnosis, but it turned out he understood my problem perfectly and was trying to break down scar tissue in my leg. I recognized the process because that was what the physio had done at home after my operation four years ago. Painful, but effective. Cost me 50 RMB – about $10.

While all this is going on I have on-going conversations on Wechat. Some students want a private lesson. A Toastmaster club wanted me to visit, which I had to cancel because I’m really not running on all cylinders. There is a potential VIP class where a rich businessman will send a car to pick me up and pay me 300RMB/hour (over $100 for two hours) to teach him English so he can deal with travelling overseas.  A casting director wants me to come and meet the Director of a film so I can play a part.  Had to say ‘no’ to that one too.  My Ladies class members drop in every evening to chat, bring food and see if I’m OK. People keep texting me to know what they can do to help me. I have enough fruit to feed a small army. I’m thinking, “If this happened to me in Vancouver would I be getting this level of support?”

I have also been studying more recent Chinese history. The Long March, when you start to read the story of how it went down, has to be one of the most extraordinary tales of the 20^th Century. Having killed off thousands of Communists in Shanghai, the Nationalist army had Mao’s Communists encircled. Jiang Jie Shi had won the struggle with the other warlords in China was intent on stamping out resistance to his rule – whatever it took. His troops stole, burned and pillaged their way around China.  In contrast, the Communists were inspired by the ideals of the resistance movements of the previous 100 years in China such as the Taiping and the Boxers. It was their rule to take nothing without paying and to treat the common people as their brothers. Mao admired George Washington and took inspiration from the story of Valley Forge. They opposed oppression and had a vision of a greater China ruled fairly according to the high principles – “Workers of the World Unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains.” 70% of the land was owned by a small minority who treated the majority like dirt.  It’s no wonder that by 1949 most of China had changed sides. If I had been Chinese in the 1930s I would have been a Communist.