Last night I was invited to an English Corner - this is a kind of 'Chinglish' for a place where Chinese people can gather in order to practice their English with one or more native speakers. In this case it was a coffee shop and I found it packed with 30 - 40 enthusiastic young people with various levels of English competence.
One of the English speakers was a tall friendly guy called Jed. Jed is from Jordan. His English is good, although with a fairly pronounced accent. He teaches English to little kids and has been in Xi'an for a few years.
Another English speaker was Best David, so named because when he arrived here there were many Davids so he took an extra adjective. Best David is from South Carolina. He's always impeccably dressed and has a beautiful, strong speaking voice. He has also been in Xi'an for years and apparently speaks Chinese.
The topic of the evening was 'Love or Friendship'. We were to divide into groups and have a discussion to decide which was more important. In my group there was a variety of opinions and we eventually selected one girl t give our report. She did a great job of explaining using two skewers - one with pear on the end and one with orange. The pear represented friendship, so if you eat pairs everyday you might start to want something stronger - the orange. On the other hand, if you eat oranges every day you might start to think, "What about the pair? What happened to my friends?" Anyway that went very well. Then it was time for the feature presentations: Best David, and then me.
Best David always speaks very forcefully. He likes to keep the audience on their toes. He challenges them and gives them something to think about. After feedback for the Chinese people practicing English and some talk about love and friendship, Best David moved on to his favorite theme - he talked about how you create your own reality, how you should follow your dreams and not be deterred by the possible negativity of others. It was stirring stuff, Unfortunately he shifted into comments about paying attention to the speaker and not using your mobile phone during a speech. He singled out someone at the back who had been talking to his neighbour. The man at the back happened to be Joe, a bright young man who had given me a ride to the event. Here's how I remember the exchange.
Joe - I don't agree with what you're saying. This is China. You can't just do whatever you want to do.
Best David - It doesn't matter, you don't have to limit yourself. You can be whoever you want to be.
J- You don't understand Chinese culture.
BD- You were talking on your mobile phone.
J- You should realize this is a public coffee house and not everyone is here for the English Corner.
BD- But you yourself came here for this event.
J- Stop trying to tell us what to do.
My memory is blurry as to the details, but they were both talking at once and neither one would back down. Best David asserted his right as the speaker to not be interrupted while Joe asserted his right to disagree with what was being said. It felt very uncomfortable. People around Joe got up and tried to quiet him down. Eventually they got him out the door. Best David said a few more things, but then the organizer said, "Simon, would you like to say a few words to us?"
Actually I was keen to take over, because seriously someone needed to change the channel. I gave BD a hug, because at the start of his speech he had hugged the organizer and said that men can hug each other. I complimented them all on their progress with English. They're on the right track because language is a tool for communication not just a subject in school. They were delighted to hear my family name is Truelove, since that fitted so well with the theme of the evening. I talked about the Beatles; All You Need Is Love and Let it Be. They were all so young and I have the credibility of many years of experience. I told them that it's good to think about your ideas regarding love, but when it really hits you...all those ideas can go out the window. You meet someone and you feel completely changed - you love that person and you find that she loves you too - its the most powerful and wonderful feeling you can have. This clearly hit the right note with them and I'm hoping it helped them to get over the event that just happened five minutes before. My message for them was that love will take you to great heights, but it can also bring you down again and make you the most miserable. It's worth the journey because we have to enjoy every part of life and live every day to the fullest with all of our most passionate attention. (Well, I said something like that) I decided I was finished and sat down. They clapped a lot.
This event had so many interlocking elements. Joe and Best David were both right, and they were both wrong. If language is about communication they did a great job of speaking, but they did a terrible job of listening. Public speaking in China is a potential powder keg, because cultural sensitivity is required precisely at the point when you're not thinking about it. As Western people we might feel our way of thinking is the best, but we swim in the unseen waters of centuries of colonialism. The Chinese world has not always prospered through adopting western ideas. Chinese young people appear to us as individuals, but they are part of something greater than themselves in a way that western thinking does not appreciate. Joe had something important to add to the conversation that Best David was not willing to hear. My personal feeling about discussions in China about...hmm...just about everything, is that it is vital to listen and withhold judgement. They had listened to Best David's ideas for quite a long time, so I felt that some push back was appropriate.
Two guys who run a school came up to me afterwards wanting me to speak at an event. Really nice people and their English was flawless.
My life here continues to produce unexpected experiences. On this occasion I felt very good because I actually made a valuable contribution, not by any particular brilliance, just by being in the right place at the right time.
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