Sickness

Broke a record of over a year without sickness.  I don’t even remember when I last had a cold.  It’s very humbling.  The body just doesn’t feel right and I am assaulted by the idea that I will never get better.  So I walk down the street protected by layers of clothing, a toque and a face mask.  It’s like being on an alien planet where the air is too toxic to breathe.  As I look down the lines of traffic the buildings on either side start to blur in the smog until, a few hundred yards away, they disappear altogether.  Then, tonight, I went to a meeting where all the people were so warm and encouraging of one another

Xi’an is distinguished in Winter by an almost complete absence of the tranquilizing influence of nature.  The trees are dead, there are few birds.  Most of the open spaces are paved with cement and there is dust everywhere.  The people have little in the environment that can give joy, unless you count the giant posters advertising brand name products.  I suppose it’s not surprizing that many of them seem to think the only worthwhile activities are making money and spending it. 

What redeems it all is the qualities of the people.  Most of the people I know are kind, hard-working and cheerful.  It’s as if they realize that what they have in this world, their most significant asset, is each other.  People are the primary resource of China.  The qualities I see most abundantly around me are patience, co-operation, generosity, optimism and kindness.  I know I am generalizing, but after 4 months here I feel myself entitled to have opinions based on what I have observed.  Most people appear to work very hard for long hours under conditions that no western person would tolerate.  And they don’t complain about it.  It makes sense not to complain if there’s nothing you can do about it, but so many Western people lack that kind of uncommon sense.

It is said that whatever kind of suffering you face, you must endure it.  Suffering will show you its real nature.  As I recover from the sickness I wonder if I have been able to learn the lessons it teaches.  Where is the true value in my life?  Is my peace of mind so fragile that it can be demolished by a cough and a runny nose?

Before leaving my apartment I run through the checklist: wallet, phone, keys, cough candies, toque, scarf, face mask, transit card, tissues, book, glasses.   Exterior conditions – cold, smoggy.  OK time to enter the airlock.