I have no power to dream the future. The present bears little resemblance to anything I expected. The past has sunk rapidly leaving insubstantial traces and echoes that have no power except what I give them. Like a fisherman I cast my line over the waters and begin to reel in my destiny. Here's what it might look like.
In July I am joyfully re-connected to my family. The grandkids have grown, of course, and continue to delight the eye. They have launched with a trio of splashes, their whole lives to live. My children have plenty to keep them busy: houses, mortgages, jobs and dreams. The summer is sprinkled with sparkling gatherings with family and friends; stories are shared, the bottle is passed, feelings of time-sanded affection, warmth and belonging. I pass my days in sun-baked bicycle rides, walks by the waves, reading extraordinary novels with coffee in the morning.
I love my eagle nest condo. Its so beautiful. But its been sitting empty long enough and must be placed on the open market to see what it may fetch. Realtors, lawyers and storage providers must be consulted; maybe even engineers and who knows who else. The future stretches ahead and more of it will take place in China than in Vancouver. With any luck my equity can find its way into a more productive eagle nest. Alison's plans involve selling their house and investing in something more ambitious. Suits me just fine.
During the summer I also have connections to forge. What about the chances of starting a Canadian school in China? (Timeline: late in 2016) In the short term I will be in Xi'an in September - ready to teach English to students who really want to learn. I need a comfortable room with private shower and an electric scooter. If we are lucky, Alison and Calvin will come visit in October. Alice will return from Australia and they will finally meet. From that point onwards things become much more murky. Can I survive a Xi'an winter with any level of comfort? Will money be an issue or does it just continue to be a sidebar compared to what is really important in life? Can I keep my focus on dhamma? "Be present with every breath" "May all beings be happy". What did the Buddha really imply with the concept of 'no self'? I'm curious as to who would be having this absence of self.
Big question: (drum roll).... am I done with women? I mean, is the domestic bliss of two against the world a dream from my past, never to be repeated? What about sex? As someone famously said in "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel" ... "Its never over." My feelings on that one are subject to change.
The world goes this way and that. Ideas are in fashion or not, and those who should prevail are often defeated. But it doesn't matter. The virtues remain uncorrupted and uncorruptible. They are rewards in themselves, the bulwarks with which we protect our vision of beauty that we may stand, unperturbed, in the storm that comes when seeking God. - Mark Helprin, Winter's Tale
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