Chinese wedding - Chen Ning and Regan

Chen Ning and Regan invited me to their wedding.  I felt so lucky.  A friend drove four of us out to the country to Reagan's small village.  It was a bright sunny day and we drove a couple of hours through rural countryside.
When we arrived we were, of course, treated to snacks and Baizhou.  People were very welcoming.  I think no one in the village spoke English.  It was a chance to be present at an important event in their lives where normally you would never find a foreigner.

The main street had been set up with red carpet, pink heart archways and a stage. I learned to wish the happy couple a long and prosperous life and children.  This is not too hard to say in Chinese, but it took a while to get it right.  It was Chen Ning who invited me.  She looked gorgeous in her Western style white wedding dress.  They gave each other rings.   Apparently they had opted for Western clothing; although most of the event had a more traditional Chinese flavour.  There were lots of fireworks and speeches. A small child did a cute dance.  There were also traditional introductions of the bride to the parents of the groom and the groom to parents of the bride.  According to tradition she is leaving her family and going to live in his home where she will help look after his parents.

That's the tradition.  In fat they both live together in Xi'an.  There were so many photos.  I got myself in line for a photo with both of them together.  A wedding is so universal - always a joyful occasion.  This one was no exception.

There was soooo much food.  Its all cooked out of doors and certain dishes are obligatory - those are chickens on the right.  A lot of the cooking is done in huge pots over a coal fire.
Everything I tried was delicious; although I do have a personal rule to avoid eating the feet of anything.

Transcendentalism

 "Amidst materialists, zealots, and skeptics, the Transcendentalist believed in perpetual inspiration, the miraculous power of will, and a birthright to universal good. He sought to hold communion face to face with the unnameable Spirit of his spirit, and gave himself up to the embrace of nature's perfect joy, as a babe seeks the breast of a mother." - William Channing, sometime before 1844.
In the 1800s in the USA a diverse group of talented writers and artists were given the label 'Transcendentalists'.  They included Thoreau of Walden Pond fame, Walt Whitman - Leaves of Grass  and Emerson's 
"Standing on the bare ground,--my head bathed by the blithe air, and uplifted into infinite space,--all mean egotism vanishes. I become a transparent eye-ball. I am nothing. I see all. The currents of the Universal Being circulate through me; I am part or parcel of God".
"What 19th century American poetry have to do with a retired English teacher in Xi'an, China 2015?" I hear you ask.  Good question.  I love it when my students start to question things I say.  It means they are actually thinking.  19th Century America had vast expanses of rich, luxuriant nature to inspire sublime poetry.  21st century Xi'an has vast crowds of noisy people bustling about, often enshrouded in thick clouds of smog.
     Chinese cities,  in a graphic and tangible fashion, embody many of the challenges facing the modern world.  There are far too many people; they consume countless kilo-watts of non-renewable energy; they pursue new and shiny  material possessions with alarming avidity; they produce mountains of non-recycled garbage on a daily basis.  Available resources are being rapidly consumed and the surrounding environment is becoming increasingly polluted.  The government makes the appropriate noises of concern, but power rests with decision-makers whose continuing prosperity depends on society continuing with more of the same.  I know its not a new story; many are the mighty civilizations that have destroyed themselves through their own behaviour. To a greater or lesser extent this painful reality is mirrored in every 'civilized' city on Earth - it just happens to be very obvious in Xi'an.  Collective humanity seems to lack the moral strength to change.
     Where can we find salvation, or even hope?  Don't count on any particular religion.  Some of our cruelest, most brutal, wantonly destructive wars have been sanctioned (if not caused) by religious zealotry.  Religions need to incorporate certain behaviours in order to survive; behaviours which attract to ordinary human beings - lust for wealth, fame and power..  In doing so they inevitably reflect ordinary human failings.  The original goodness of the founders always becomes submerged over time. 
So, back to the Transcendentalists.  Xi'an is my Walden Pond.  I meditate on the traffic.  There are dancing aunties exercising in the morning, laughing students seeking their lunch at noontime and weary commuters hustling homewards in the evening.  The shopping centres and malls are ubiquitous and  massive.  I'm surrounded by advertisers, but since everything is written in Chinese....I'm immune. A retired western person is uniquely situated to be 'In the world, but not OF the world.'  Because I only teach a little English - only to those that request it.  Because I have enough money to survive and I'm not craving more.  Because the pressures from home are far away and the customs of the land where I am living have no hold on me.  Because I'm moved by curiosity, by wonder, and sometimes by gratitude. The unnameable Spirit of my spirit has room to play.  And when....after some time....you know that personal preferences are arbitrary, inaccurate and fleeting.... you realize that the natural response of one human being to another....is love.
      There are about 10 million people in Xi'an.  Walt Whitman would see 10 million leaves of grass, all bound within the same root system so that there is no particular significance in what happens to one leaf. When you feel this truth the feeling is not death, it's joy.  
       Maybe you don't believe me.  Belief and non-belief don't matter for the leaves of grass.  They are waves in the thought patterns that blow like drifting winds from one cranium to another.  They come, they stay awhile and then they go.  See, here comes another...is it strong or is it gentle?  You cannot hold onto the wind.  Instead, just feel its caress.  Learn to say 'hello' with welcome and 'good bye' with gratitude.  See yourself in another yourself and laugh with the wind as it plays over the grass.
     

Yuan jia cun

Sometimes I feel there must be some guardian angels working full time for me.  The ladies in my adult class invited me for a trip to Yuan jia cun.  Its about an hour from Xi'an near the tomb of Taizong, one of the Middle Kingdom's greatest Emperors.  But our goal was not the tomb.  Yuan jia cun means the village of the Yuan family.  Formerly they were very poor, but after the new 'openness'

of the 1980s they gradually transformed.  The headman of the village found out that people from the city like to have somewhere to go in the country to relax.  So he encouraged development of traditional crafts such as weaving, spinning, making tofu, various delicious soups, handicrafts and music. It worked.  People came by the thousands and they spent money.  This success allowed a considerable expansion of the village supplementing ancient buildings with new structures designed in traditional styles.  There are several hotels, one of which

has beds heated by fires that are lit in the base; traditional furniture with modern bathrooms.
On the left is a place for spinning and weaving of cotton.  I tried my hand at weaving, but I am very bad at it.  Takes a lot of practice to co-ordinate feet and hands.  I think to make one meter of cotton would take me a long time.  The traditional cart was supplied with a number of weapons, so Lucy is

demonstrating her ferocity with a sword. The streets are all paved and lined with many shops selling beef noodle soup, sheep's stomachs, flat bread and other delicacies such as fried scorpions.
         
I was very impressed with the entrepreneurial spirit that has brought prosperity to the village.
There are lots of signs from the communist era - pictures and statues of Mao and traditional attire.  On the right is one of the longest swings I've seen.  Lucy and Lili managed to get it working, but I'm not quite convinced it would pass a safety inspection.
We were very lucky with the weather- bright sunshine and blue skies.  Even though the air was a bit cold we were able to eat outside and explore in comfort.  Not bad for a December afternoon.  In the evening we had hotpot in one of the restaurants of Lucy's family.
The ladies practice their English very well, but it was also a great chance to work

 on my Chinese.  Many thanks to Lucy, Lili, Ana and Grace for a golden day in the heart of China which will live in my memory for a long time.

Peace - Be still

Whenever people talk about stress I feel that there's some information about the mind that everyone ought to be told.  I'm presenting it here in the form of three questions that kids might ask in school if they had be taught to ask questions instead of being given lists of politically correct answers to produce on demand.
1)  How can I get what I want?
      It's a good question, but the answer is,
"You can't."  Sorry.  You can't get what you want because what you want will always be the next thing.  As soon as you get a present you'll start to wonder if someone else has a better one and what is the next present.  People always want something.  You will never get a present that is so good it will end the wanting.  In fact, getting presents may actually increase the wanting.  You keep thinking and your mind is made up of thoughts.  Wanting stuff is the nature of your mind - that's what it does.  If you can stop a moment and watch the flow of thoughts you'll see how it keeps thinking about the next big thing to want.  Let's get round the next corner and maybe it will be there.  Let's make more money.  Let's find the right partner.  Sometimes it seems you have got it, but the mind soon finds something new to want.  If you've been paying attention you realize that there must be something else for which you are yearning.  But what is it? What to do?  Can you rise above this eternal drama?
2)   How can I get beyond this cycle of wanting?
"Well, yes actually you can."  The mind will never stop wanting, but you are not the mind.  Just watch it for a while.  It will lead you in a merry chase.  It will never stop and will continue to weave complicated patterns and get you tangled up in them.  Stop. Wait a minute.  If you can watch the mind that means you are somewhere 'outside' of the mind. Careful with that because it may be another entanglement.  You may feel as if you took off a mask, but then found that there's another mask beneath, and then another, and so on.  The whole drama takes place within a larger context.  Every time you become aware of the drama you also become a deeper player (watching the play of the mind) and in doing so you create a new drama.  Is someone aware of the whole enchilada?  I use the word enchilada because there's no way to really encompass it in words.  Nevertheless, at some level the whole thing takes place within stillness; within emptiness.  You have been curious about the self, but maybe there is no self.
3)  How can there be no self; there is me.  Who am I really?
"That's the most important question you can ask."  Keep asking it.  If there is an answer it cannot be found in the past or in the future.  You want to know who you are NOW - the self that is asking the question.  To know the self there must be a knower of the self which is the one who asks the question.
Its a paradox for the mind, but is there more than the mind?  What if the mind were to become still?
4)  If the mind became still wouldn't I get into a lot of problems?  How could I live?
"You are living now. You are on the intersection between many forces, many thoughts and many feelings. There’s only one present moment for us and we must live it.  We DO live it.  Remember that only the present moment exists.  All else is illusion. You have no choice about what is in the present moment; your choice is in how you respond to it. If it is happening, it is supposed to happen.  You respond, but there is no 'i' who is responding.  There is just appropriate action.

The Buddha taught that the cause of suffering is desire, and desire is caused by attachment. Everything changes and there is no self to be attached - it's an illusion.  This doesn't mean death; at least not the death of anything real. Rather than any negative sense it means the casting off of limitations.  Death thou shalt die.
It may seem as if these are only thoughts.  Yes, well, maybe.  Everything we experience is in the form of thoughts.  You are the victim of the patterns of thought.  You mistake thought for reality.  We do not try to create a dream world, we try to become aware of the dream world in which we live so we can begin to awaken.

Random shots of daily life

The view outside my apartment

Its great to have goals, but Life is what happens along the way.

Not a terrorist shooting a luck lion

I came to encourage music education

I had no idea how the photo on the right would look when I took it.  The smoke is from fire crackers. These guys are simply heading into the store.

Unexpected lunchtime bonus

 I was invited to speak to parents at a music school.  They actually paid me! (I might have done it for free.)  The girls on the right were awesome.  They are celebrating the opening of a new store.  I think in Xi'an you can find someone for everything.

Love this photo.  He is six.

The little guy on the left played with such confidence!  My job was to tell the parents that they should keep the kids practising regularly because it will be very good for them in the future.

I must head off for my lunch in the nearby plaza.  I usually have a subway sandwich.  Its surprising how sunny the plaza gets in the afternoon, even though the area is a bit hazy (to put it politely)

Today I used the Ubike to go to a local museum.  I love to look at the ancient Buddha statues.

My usual lunchtime hangout

They continue to dig stuff out of the ground in the area around Xi'an.  The museum has very many treasures like the one below.  Only a fraction of them are actually on display.

This gorgeous 6th century Buddha was dug up near Xi'an in the 1970s.

Nesting for the coming winter

Today I entered my apartment around 10 am and there were workmen inside.  They're very friendly. Every now and again they show up and do something.  Who knows what.  It looked electrical.  I have acquired some furniture - desk, couch, shelving, drawers and an office chair.  It was quite an adventure getting it all.  First I went to the huge local furniture store which was selling luxury suites suitable for millionaires.  So I defaulted to IKEA, but how to get there.  Of course no-one has heard of it because the pronunciation is different in Chinese.  (Note, why can't the Chinese say IKEA?)  Got numerous directions involving complicated mandarin symbols.  Once I figured out the general area I got on a bus and hoped for the best.  After about 45 minutes I got off at the wrong stop and walked in the wrong direction.  Made my way to the Metro line and went one stop in the (hopefully) right direction.  No IKEA.  Last resort - talk to the driver of the small motorcycle taxi and try to explain where I want to go - "Big blue store - buy furniture - very close to here - can you take me?  How much?"  He took me straight there for $1.  Complimented me on my Chinese and taught me how to pronounce IKEA: "Eejiya".  So I had a Swedish lunch and selected my furniture.   Cost around $400.  They charge $6 for delivery.  Quite a deal considering I live in the 7th floor of a building that's identical to about 20 others nearby.
When I told the school about all of this I got good news and bad news.  The bad news was that they want me to pay three months rent up front.  The good news was that they will deduct the cost of the furniture from the rent.
Today the sun is out again.  It was still cold as I was walking to school.  As I walked by the local 'convenient store' I passed a young woman tending what looked like a lemonade stand.  She called me over.  It was warm milk for about 50 cents.  She even spoke some English - rare bonus around this neighbourhood.  I'll post photos later of my new digs.
I'm wading my way through "Gone with the Wind".  Never read it before.  Its very well written and paints a richly textured canvas of the deep South - a way of life at once compelling and shocking; now, quite literally, gone with the wind.  I don't really like any of the characters except Melanie, but they certainly are interesting.  The US has so completely failed to come to terms with its history in the present day that they can't see the confederate flag as representing anything beyond slavery.  When Sherman's army took Atlanta it was the end of an enormous part of American history.  Of course it was a flawed society.  Which society is not flawed in some way?  Lincoln himself certainly had buckets of blood on his hands.  Presently I'm investigating Chinese history.  Its not the job of the historian to shape the past and to obscure the dirty parts.  I just want to know what happened, because there is no hope of changing the past - however, we can learn from it if we look at it clearly.

World's Best ESL Students

World's best ESL students

 I am gradually discovering that Xi'an, for me, is all about people.  Lili, Grace and Michelle are part of my ladies English class.  They offered to take a trip to a park on my day off.
 1) It rained all day,
2) The traffic was terrible,
3) Communication was challenging
These facts didn't deter them in the slightest.  We had a delightful outing and ended up in a very nice restaurant belonging to Lucy, another student.

modelling school

By now I ought to be used to having extraordinary experiences here.  Catherine, the manager of the school where I teach, asked me how I am liking Xi'an.  The question has no simple answer; my emotions travel in many directions on a given day.  So many things happen with no warning and little explanation that I have been forced into a far greater openness to life and to destiny.
For example, yesterday Catherine suddenly took me to a modelling agency.  The students were all unimaginably tall, slender and beautiful.  They are learning to be models, flight attendance or airline security personnel.  In addition, it had been decided that some knowledge of English will help their careers which is why we were called in.  Its another world indeed!  I had no idea how much communication is contained in simple movements - how you stand, how you walk.  They seemed very delighted to meet me, which was gratifying though a little puzzling.

Shirley helps in translation

I am convinced that if Chinese women were to rule the world in future it would be a much better place.  Shirley, who is maybe 20 years old, has volunteered to translate vocabulary on the board for my ladies class.  They appreciate it so much.  I operate entirely without textbooks so that the classes can be prepared specifically for the students.  I could not do this without Shirley's able assistance.
      Last night as I was walking home I encountered some new students in the street.  One of them greeted me with 'Sawasdee kaa'.   He wasn't Thai, he had simply been there on a visit.  He was quite surprised when I informed him in Chinese that it is a greeting from a woman; since he is a boy he should say 'Sawasdee krab'.  They are very friendly, partly because they're curious about the world and I am the only non-Chinese person around.  From there I wandered into a small shop on the ground floor of one of our towering apartment blocks.  The sign was translated into English as 'convenient store'.   Very appropriate.  Although small, the convenient store appeared to have everything one could possibly need fro mops to noodles to red wine.  The shopkeeper greeted me warmly offering me a cigarette which he immediately lit for me.  It felt a bit strange strolling around a store smoking a cigarette.  Oh well, its his store. I bought some yogurt and promised to come back soon.  As I continued in the dark to my own building I passed the small police station, a small kiosk with red and blue lights.  The guards know me because I go to the little exercise park nearby every night.  Neon lights run up and down the sides of some of the buildings. Residents glide silently homewards along the narrow car-lined streets.  I wonder at the strangeness of it all and at how my life here becomes, little by little, not strange at all.

This too will change

 There's a poem from the Hobbit which starts off,
 "The road goes ever on, down from the door where it began.
    Now far ahead the road has gone and I must follow if I can."
For me it has always expressed a sweet kind of nostalgia - hope, persistence, curiosity - hallmarks of the adventurer.
Gradually, as so many times in China, a new life for me is struggling to be born.  Yesterday a coffee table and a kettle appeared in my room and also I now have internet. Tomorrow I will get heat, hot water and (if I'm lucky) a desk. I have a new neighbourhood.
I have become quite adept at moving around the city.  Instead of a long walk along crowded, dusty streets I take a taxi at the cost of less than half a cup of coffee.  All it takes is the ability to tell the driver where I want to go.  Alternatively I ride the buses, squeezing in among the teeming masses of humanity on the move. My current favorite coffee shop provides western food, great coffee, internet and English language books.  Its very comfortable, which is probably why international students often go there. So far I have met people from Spain, USA, UK and Somalia.  In the evening, the plaza bursts into life as hundreds of people come to dance.  They form several groups, all ages some in costume, all playing different music.  I wander among them admiring the gracefulness and the simple joy of movement.  My day is quite full, sufficient without luxury. I enjoy a warm and peaceful sleep.

 I have given considerable thought to my mission statement as a result of working on the speech - 'Why am I in Xi'an?'  In the '60s I loved to stand by the road, stick out my thumb and hitch a ride with whatever new experience the world had to offer.  50 years later I still appreciate an element of that; although I am more discriminating.  I put myself here deliberately and I choose carefully which rides to accept.  The criteria could be described as my mission in four parts.
1) I want to actually help people, not just play a role for money.
2) I thirst for new experiences.
3) I look for the joy of learning wherever it can be found.
4) I am the moth, drawn to the light yet trying to avoid being burned.
       When one lives alone in a far-off land emotions rise and fall like the tides.  The Chinese have an expression to 'chi ku' which means literally 'eat bitter'.  Any time life gives you hardship such as cold, hunger, pain, fatigue or loneliness you have to learn to eat bitter.  I believe it's one of the secrets of the historic success of the Han people.  Modern North Americans are soft in comparison.
         There is an advantage in being able to stop, to be patient, to fast for awhile.  I realize that I am OK even though things are not as I might have wished.  Even where there is discomfort, its really just a pattern of sensations that the mind labels as good or bad. Even where there is joy, and it arrives frequently, the reality is an eternal truth - this too will change.

6 days in Guangdong Province - school visits

Interesting talks with teachers

Burnaby School Board delegation

The last week in Guangdong has included visits to ten schools, 5 bureaus of Education, one university and the Director of Education for the Province.  It was a unique window into the heart of Chinese schools as they are in 2015 (at least in Guangdong Province) – huge, modern and impressive.  The schools we visited were in Shenzhen, Guangzhou, Foshan, Zhuhai and Zhongshan.

Foshan - huge and modern

I’ll give some general impressions and then some specifics with reference to my photos.  There is a wide variety of types of school including public and private, International schools, language schools and experimental schools.  They are divided into primary, middle schools and High schools which are sometimes together in one complex.  School architecture varies wildly, much more than in the West, but the most dramatic difference is in numbers – anywhere from 2,000 to 8,000 students in a school.  Most schools include some percentage of boarders who occupy dormitories with perhaps six students to a room.       Classes average around 40 – 50 students; although

Vocational school in Zhuhai

one experimental private school had classes of 24.  Most classrooms seem designed for 48.  The desks are packed in, so there is very little possibility of varying the seating.  None of the school buildings we saw looked old; some were very modern.  In Zhongshan we went from a brand new school (right next to a Walmart) to one with a proud 90 year history.

The core of the teacher/student relationship

Principals were very welcoming and, of course, very proud of their schools.  Usually we were met by administrators accompanied by an English language teacher for translation. There was only one school where we were welcomed by students.  Some of the administrators seemed quite oblivious to the presence or absence of students.  Many of the students, on the other hand, looked at us with great curiosity.  If we showed any openness they were very friendly, happy and keen to pose for photos.  Chinese schools have tight security, but once you are in there are no restrictions regarding taking photos.

Plenty of 'state of the art' computers

Traditional school in Zhongshan

Our meeting with the director of Education for the Province clarified how Chinese education is organized.  Funding comes from the central government in Beijing with contributions at the Provincial and Municipal levels.  The numbers are so huge that is hard to imagine.  The Director used certain words many times that were translated as 'co-ordinating'. Everything has to be in line with the requirements from Beijing.  Within that context they allow an extraordinary amount of internationalism, particularly in high functioning schools.  The sheer size of the school budget facilitates the design of impressive buildings and the purchase of sophisticated equipment.

We have much to share with them about how to individualize learning and promote higher level thinking.  A teacher with a class of 50 cannot spend much time encouraging students to question everything.  Also, they do not have a tradition of recognizing and supporting students with special needs.  In other areas (vocational training is a clear example) we have much to learn from them.  Between East and West there are many barriers imposed by geography, by language and by history.  However, it was exciting to learn that in our concern for the development of the children, our enthusiasm for improving the profession of teaching and our frustration with budgetary restraints we all share the same world.

  

Ban Po - Neolithic Village Site

6,000 years ago people hunted, fished, grew crops, baked pottery, loved and died on this exact spot.  Exploring this site by myself today I realized that not much has changed.  We still don't know who we really are are why we're here. 

There is an experiment where the scientist records the moment when a decision to move the wrist is made in the brain.  Then the moment of the actual movement is recorded. That's quite straight forward, it takes time before the thought results in a movement.  However, the EEG was able to detect that the specific brain activity took place BEFORE the person thought they made the decision.  We think we have conscious free will, but at the time when we thought we made a decision to move.... the decision had already been made!

 What has this to do with the primitive village?  The primitive village is simpler - you can see how there lives are intimately enmeshed in their environment.  I believe it is the primary conundrum of human existence.  We desperately want to consider ourselves as free individuals.    Yet if everything we think and do is dependent on patterns that have already taken place then who we think we are is actually a very complicated mixture of predetermined flows.  Therefore, the idea of an 'I' who is steering the ship is only an illusion!  The beautifully formed bowl, the image of a face, the fishhooks for ears all arise from earlier causes.

 So what I am wondering is....if each choice was already made because of a complicated network of causes....maybe the life force that animated the primitive village is no different from the life force which surrounds it today in the form of enormous concrete apartment towers.  I would be tempted to say, "We are still here." Except that my theory/realization blows the pronoun 'we' right out of the water.

Descartes' statement:  "I think, therefore I am."  takes on new meaning if we care to wonder who we are if thinking becomes still.

On my days off I am experimenting with awareness of the breath. Even though it's sometimes hard to keep the mind on the breath, I notice it's always possible to attend to a single breath.  The mind wants very much to escape and think about something more interesting; however, if it always is just one breath the task never changes and never becomes more difficult.  Practicing this made me aware of the enormous resistance - a resistance, moreover, that is wholly incapable of justifying itself.  "Why keep running around?"  I ask the mind.  It has no excuse. "Why not be still for an hour?"  The mind goes into a panic and rebels.  I'm wondering if the reason for this panic is that it comes from an illusory entity (a false self) that is desperately trying to avoid exposure.

Now I am getting busy with my classes, trying to help Chinese people learn a language from a small island on the other side of the globe that happens to have spread itself world wide.  I know I am part of an unfolding that goes so far beyond me in time and space.  Did neolithic times contain the seeds of all we are today?

Things do not fall apart. The centre is sufficient to hold. Yeats, though brilliant, was wrong.

My class has been growing - there were 17 students today, with a sprinkling of parents.  It seems like a small number, but this is pretty much a freelance operation.  This was my 5th Saturday evening class. These people all live in the towers nearby.  The kids go to school during the day. Today was Saturday, but there was school because it was a make-up day for the National Holiday.  I'm just the foreign teacher they've seen in the neighbourhood, so attendance in the class is completely dependent on what they think of it.
Nobody here has advanced much in the way of opinions regarding what I should do in the class and there are no guarantees regarding age, level of English or ability.  So I have been pretty much inventing it as I go along.  I do some research on the internet and most, perhaps all of the students are between 11 and 18.  Consequently the classes are adapted to the students that come as seen through the lens of my own experience and imagination.  It works!  Everyone seems happy and they are learning some English.  One surprising aspect comes out of the fact that I'm basically living with some of the students; their dormitory is in the same apartment as my room.  Some of them speak enough English to have attached themselves to me in a charming manner.  They like to look after me and are always trying to help. This help is very real due to the fact that we're in China, they speak Mandarin and I don't. As a teacher I have never felt so immersed in what I'm doing, nor so effective. Beginning teachers ought to have this experience.  It gives you a much more profound and realistic appreciation of the role and its human dimension.
It was a low key afternoon because my plan to get together with Alice fell through.  She is dealing with the recent sad death of her Grandmother so there numerous family gatherings.  I know its important for the family to be together at such a time.  We cannot and should not ignore death when it comes.  Personally I'm reminded of the guiding experience of my life and how easily I forget lessons that I thought I had learned.
It was the death of my father which lead to my commitment in India to the search for spiritual truth.  From that time forward, coming up to 40 years ago, the search has been the central pole star guiding my choices.  I cannot help noticing that whereas my daily companions in Taiwan were university students, in China it has shifted even younger - to high school students!  there is a sense that I'm in exactly the right place, learning exactly what I need to learn. The job of the ego is to get out of the way, because the stars are aligned,  My observations of the traffic intersection suggest that it is the emptiness of the centre that allows the policeman to function.  From the central position he can judge the different flows and how they need to move.  He doesn't judge good or bad.  He doesn't prefer any particular direction or type of vehicle.  He just assists everyone in getting to where they need to go.  When I find the empty centre in my mind its hardly surprising that everything in my life starts to fall into place.
Call me crazy or deluded if you like, but really you should try it and see for yourself.

Commotion - inside and out

 Today I went for a walk in the rain. In a way the rain is welcome because it cleans the air and washes the streets.  My umbrella is up for the task and the only real problem is to keep the feet dry.

This intersection is very busy almost all day long.  If you want to walk across it you have to take the   overhead walkway which encompasses all four sides of the square.  Its a great vantage point for watching the constant drama below.  Some people do the strangest things in their attempts to cross  the intersection.  If you include the scooter and bicycle lanes there 5 lanes heading in each of the 4 directions.  They all criss-cross, but the circle in the centre is always empty.  Potentially it means that 20 vehicles are all facing each other.  Each vehicle could go left, right, forward or remain still.  That adds up to 80 possibilities.  If you were to calculate the various combinations that can occur it all amounts to an ever-changing puzzle that continually unfolds in  different patterns before your eyes.

But the centre remains empty.  No one goes there.  It occurred to me that its a perfect metaphor of the mind.  Everything is chaotic unless you stay in the centre.  You just let go of all the thoughts and let them go whatever way they want like the cars.  One is able to apply constant attention as well as constant non-attachment simply by remaining centred and letting it all go.  Instead of a stressful, busy intersection it becomes a joyful dance, like the dance of Shiva.

To the right is an example of what happens if you lose your attention for a moment. Traffic on the right was backed up for miles with a bus driver and a taxi driver shouting at each other over a small scratch.
Actually in a month of watching the teeming traffic in Xi'an I have witnessed surprisingly few accidents.
In retirement one can enter the fourth phase of man - freed from worldly concerns he is at last able to retire in peace to the forest and contemplate the nature of things.  One of the discoveries in doing this is that peace is nowhere to be found.  Wherever you go you bring along your own baggage.  By, apparently, retiring to the forest of a busy Chinese city I have found that the principles of peace remain the same.  Be patient, Accept, Know joy, Let go, Be still.  Let it all swirl around you as everything goes on its own special way to its own special place while you stand choiceless, transported, rapt in wonder.

Yan an

 It was still dark in Xi'an when I took the taxi to the subway.  Strange to see the wide streets almost empty except for a few sleepy workers raking up last night's refuse.  The bullet train whisked us over 300 km North to Yan'an in just over two hours. We emerged into bright sunshine and blue skies.  Yan an is a special place in the story of the Chinese revolution.  It was here that Mao Tse Tung's battered army gathered in 1935 after the grueling Long March through the western mountains.

It was here that they used ancient copperplate printing to put out the millions of Chinese characters of propaganda that by 1949 had cemented China into the People's Republic that we know today.  They lived in the actual caves that we visited today.  A museum has been constructed around them. You can still see the thin woolen blankets and the black soot on the ceilings from the wood fires that kept them warm through the long winters.  The poor quality of the photos in the small museum reveals young faces hopeful and determined.  They faced cold and hunger, persecution by Chiang's Nationalist Army, an imminent Japanese invasion and little support from foreign powers.  By 1937 the prospect did not look good.

I found the experience to be both moving and humbling. There is no hint of grandiose exaggeration of heroism by the present government.  The ghosts of the past are allowed to speak via the actual traces that remain.  We did not visit the cave where Mao lived.  We saw the printing presses, the blackened lanterns, the hand generators and the images of people surviving the most extreme hardships because of their shared belief in a better world.  All around the protected sights flows the chaotic traffic and shiny new construction of a modern city of almost 2 million people.  Most of the tourists go shopping and eating, or climb to look out points where they buy cheap souvenirs.  The halls of the museum were almost empty. I never saw a single Western face.
I was very lucky to have the help of Jenny for this trip.  Jenny is on the staff of an English teaching program in Xi'an.  In spite of having grown up not far away she had never been to Yanan.  So she agreed to make the trip with me.  There are numerous obstacles for a Western person.  First of all its hard to get the train tickets (she bought them online in Chinese)  Secondly, English guidebooks are a bit sketchy on this location - it doesn't attract many foreign tourists and its a bit remote.  Of course the remoteness is the main factor that enabled the fledgling Communist Party to survive. Thirdly, when you arrive at the station you encounter dense crowds, intense traffic and signs only in Chinese.  I think its safe to say I could not have made this  trip successfully without Jenny.
Its quite common for Western people to gloss over the roots of the CPC when we see the images of  Chairman Mao, Tiananmen Square, parades of military hardware and other signs of China's astonishing growth since 1980.  Yesterday I caught a glimpse of a deeper story and it wasn't about Mao - it was about a determined group of young people, fueled by courage and ingenuity surviving extraordinary hardship in pursuit of a wonderful dream.