When a friend suggested a trip to Nanjing I said, “Sure, why
not?” If I had thought to inquire further
I would have found out: 1) We would go during the National Day holiday when
over 500 million people are all traipsing around the country. 2) We would go
with his family to attend a large wedding celebration. 3) We would rent a car
for five people the size of a sardine can and would visit four cities in five
days. A lot happened.
The wedding started for us in company with the handsome
young groom. We went along to help collect the bride. First the door to the apartment building came
assault. Her family held the other side
and we had to push our way in with the help of some red envelopes for bribery.
The same happened when we got to her door.
Eventually we got into her bedroom where she sat resplendent in red
bridal finery. Testing rituals too numerous to comprehend ensued, including the
search for her shoes. There were clues
to solve available on mobile phones. I
didn’t know much of what was happening, but took numerous photos anyway. The bride had to be carried to the pinkly
decorated white convertible so her feet didn’t touch the ground, and then off
we went in a cloud of smoke from a thousand firecrackers.
There was lots of food and bai jiu, then a rest time
followed by the ceremony itself in a spacious, lavishly appointed hall in the
evening. After interminable waiting the bride arrived escorted by her brother.
Events are customarily orchestrated by an MC in glittery garb who talks like a
TV game show host. The bride and groom
are the main actors, but they really don’t get to say much. There was entertainment, lots more food and
loud orations by the MC. I have little
idea about what he found to say at such great length. Like weddings everywhere
it was a happy affair. Even though my
Mandarin was not equal to the challenge of understanding what was said, I felt
very welcome as one more witness to wish the best of luck towards timeless
ritual - the union of two families.
Most Western weddings focus on the uniqueness of the happy
couple – it is their day. In contrast, a
traditional Chinese wedding seems to focus on the assigned roles that the
couple are expected to play. There seems
to be little room for their personal preferences. I love the people, and there were beautiful
moments, but I feel they would appreciate the opportunity to be themselves
instead just having to follow a series of prescribed steps. To some extent the
event was a celebration of a display of prosperity and the ego of the MC. Of course I never understood what he said,
but it sounded like a complex version of:
“Hey there! Its all about ME.”
We spent most of the trip crammed into the sardine can
looking at congested traffic. Overnights were spent at cheap hotels (Btw, I’m
not complaining about the price.) The
ancient water town of ZhouZheng was spectacular, as was the light spectacle of
Shanghai across the river. I’m glad we
went to the Zhongshan memorial in Nanjing; although that extraordinary city has
many more interesting features.
If I could derive a learning theme from this trip it would
be to understand the disadvantages of group travel. There’s no question that my solo journeys are
richer in personal experience. On the
plus side, I got to know some friends much better and I visited Anhui Province
for the first time. This brings my
Chinese Province total up to 23 out of 34. Only 11 still to go.
